ASE
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Yes, it's on YOU! You are the one responsible for your current situation. I'm not trying to be insensitive or dismissive of the circumstances that happen to you outside of your control, but instead I'm here to talk about accountability, self-determination, and enthusiasm (A.S.E). Having accountability means that one has the willingness to accept responsibility or account for his or her own actions. With that accountability comes the realization that you are in control of your life and should be exercising that self-determination with vigor and enthusiasm to see growth or change!
In 1995, I made one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life which was to quit smoking cigarettes! It was difficult, but we had a toddler and I wanted to be around for as long as I could in my family’s lives, so I sucked it up and quit. I took the money I spent on cigarettes and subscribed to Money magazine and the difference I put into an account for our daughter! To help with the smoking urge, I visited my favorite Islamic vendor for some flavored chew sticks!
Some of the jewels we learned from Money magazine related to investing in mutual funds, protecting our income with life insurance outside of our employers’ group coverage, and building equity in our home by paying an additional mortgage payment annually. I even went above and beyond by paying off a newly purchased vehicle in 24 months vs the contractual 60 months! We made the decision to take these actions because we could, and to prepare for the future. We didn’t know then that we were preparing for a storm that we had never seen coming!
Just ten years later, my wife suffered an unexpected illness and four years later I did too. Both of our illnesses were life threatening and resulted in a month of hospitalization and months of recovery for both of us. We suffered losses of income during both critical events and medical expenses way beyond what our health insurance would cover. It was a struggle physically, psychologically, emotionally, and definitely financially! When these situations hit, the world doesn’t stop! The kids still have to be cared for, fed, dropped off and picked up from school, loved. The mortgage or rent still has to be paid. Utility bills, phone bills, car payments, insurance premiums, educational loans, transportation cost just don’t stop coming due! It’s extremely high-pressure managing the household with loss of income and managing through physical recoveries. We could have sat around deflated questioning why me? Why us? Why God? On the other hand, we could take full accountability and with enthusiasm decide to change our situation. We were fully accountable whether we liked it or not! No, we did not directly cause our illnesses, but who else should we hold accountable for our situation but us?
Remember I mentioned the choices we made after I quit smoking and began subscribing to Money magazine? Well, those conscious decisions made 10 years earlier allowed us to leverage our decade of investments and equity in our house to bridge some of the financial gaps. At one point we were two months behind on our mortgage payments and had no money for the approaching Christmas holidays or anything else for that matter! By that time, thankfully, I had paid off my truck with extra monthly payments and since we had a second car…Sold! The mortgage was paid, food was purchased, and Christmas was saved for the children.
So, you see, we were responsible for our situation. Our actions of the past were instrumental in helping us to cope with the sudden unforeseen situations we faced in that moment. Thankfully, we had the foresight to plan for the unexpected. We wished we could have planned more, saved more, and invested more. Hindsight is truly 20/20. However, it was our attitude of accountability and self-determination that made it easier for us to be enthusiastic about changing our situation (as hard as it was) and begin to secure our future again.
There is a word in the Yoruba language, originating in Nigeria that speaks to self-determination. Ase´ (pronounced: Ah-shay) means the life energy or life force which we are all born with, which can be increased or decreased throughout our lifetime based on our attitudes, choices, and actions. Embrace the pressure of any situation, know that you are responsible for your attitude towards the situation and for determining the outcome. Whether you’ve been impacted by a life altering event, loss of a loved one, or faced with raising children and managing a household solo, understand that you are powerful! The words you speak out loud and the words that you speak privately, to yourself, have the power to build or destroy! Knowing that, which would you choose to speak to yourself? Negativity or positivity?
If you’re venturing outside of your comfort zone and starting a business, committed to beating your personal best or challenged with leading a project for the first time - take ownership, embrace the pressure of the situation, develop a winning plan, and have the faith and perseverance to see your plan through to fruition and succeed! When you say Ase´ you are enlisting the life forces that make things happen! As you speak, so shall it be!
